I can’t even write.
I am engulfed by guilt,
I am surrounded by lies.
I am drowning in sorrow,
I am swimming to survive.
I don’t know if I’ll ever run again,
I don’t know if i’ll ever try.
I had to do what I had to do.
I had to choose between life and you.
I saw a side of you and I was no longer amused,
I saw a side of you and I couldn’t believe it was you.
Justifications spring eternal,
Hope takes strength to brew.
I have that strength,
I don’t know how and I don’t like it.
But I have that strength
To pull together these strands of burnt rope,
To stitch together viability and scope,
To render antipathy into unconditional love.
I have the strength to swallow my pride.
And one day it will ignite the same in you.
Till that day, I wish you farewell,
But “I love you” is all I’ll say.